Bacon

Last week I indicated that the two pork bellies from my meat CSA were destined to become bacon. He Who Will Not Be Ignored expressed an interest in helping me, so it was time for a lesson about Where Food Comes From. We began with the Maple-Cured Smoked Bacon recipe from Michael Ruhlman’s Charcuterie: The Craft of Salting, Smoking, and Curing, two pork bellies, fifty grams each of kosher salt and dark brown sugar, and twelve grams of pink salt (salt and sodium nitrite, also know as InstaCure #1). We chose to omit the maple syrup, preferring a more savory bacon.

I combined the salts and sugar in a bowl and mixed thoroughly to break up any lumps and distribute the pink salt.

We placed the belly skin side down in a glass baking dish, then I sprinkled the cure mixture over all of the surfaces. (Look carefully at the bookshelf below my arm, you’ll see the spot where Carcuterie belongs, between Richard Olney’s Variety Meats and Fergus Henderson’s The Whole Beast.)

Now it was time to rub the cure into the bellies.

I covered the dish tightly in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. Every other day I turned the bellies over to let each side absorb the brine that had formed at the bottom of the dish. After seven days I rinsed off the cure and dried the bellies, then let them air dry in the fridge for another twenty four hours. This allows the formation of a pellicle, “a tacky surface that the smoke will stick to” (Ruhlman, pg. 78).

A day later, I removed the bellies from the fridge and let them come to room temperature while I prepared my smoker. The hard work had been done, all I had to do was fire up my Char-Griller to give the pork a three-hour smoke bath. I filled a basket with hardwood charcoal, set it in the smoker box, and lit it with a small stick of fatwood. While I waited for the charcoal to burn, I inserted a digital probe thermometer into the thickest section of one of the bellies. I had to smoke until the internal temperature reached 150 °F. I was ready, or so I thought.

A Wholly Unexpected Interruption from Officers of the Local Police and Fire Departments

The doorbell rang. A police officer was standing on my front porch.

“There’s a fire behind your house.”

“A fire? Are you sure you don’t mean my barbecue grill?”

“Yeah, that. It was on fire, so we put it out.”

“I don’t understand. Could you show me?” I followed her around to the back of my house, where I’ve always had the grill set up. Parked in front of my driveway was a fire truck, flanked by two firefighters in full-on gear  (turnouts, helmets, boots – the works), one of whom was holding a fire extinguisher (call him SFD 1), and a third who appeared to be the driver. My grill had been dragged to the edge of the driveway, where I could see water pouring out of it. The charcoal basket had been removed and doused with water, I could hear it hissing.

“Your grill was on fire. We put it out.” said SFD1.

I looked at the grill, but didn’t see any scorch marks or signs of it having ignited. (I don’t use thermite to light charcoal.) “Do you mean the charcoal in the firebox?” I asked. “You could have closed the lid, and it would have smoldered out.”

Changing the subject, he said “You’re not supposed to have a grill so close to your house.” The back wall of my house is solid brick, a fireproof substance, or so I had been led to believe. The back yard, such as it is, consists of a paved driveway and a strip of dirt with a few ornamental plants.

Realizing that I was facing four of the city’s finest, and remembering advice from She Who Must Be Obeyed, I bit down every snappy retort that came to mind and asked “Where in my yard can I use the grill?”

“It has to be ten feet from all residences.”

“I’ve been grilling in that same spot for ten years. What changed that you showed up today?”

“Well, you’ve been lucky for ten years. One of your neighbors called in, said your house was on fire.”

Looking directly at the police officer, I said “I don’t want to be in violation of a city ordinance. Can you please explain the requirements to me?” She nodded, as if to say you’re doing the right thing.

That didn’t go over to well with SFD 1. “I already told you. Ten feet from any residence.”

“I don’t want you to have to make a return visit. Could you please show me where on my property I can safely operate my grill?”

“Right here,” he sad, pointing at the end of my driveway, where it met the sidewalk. “This is ten feet.”

“It’s very close to the sidewalk. Isn’t a hot grill in this position a public safety hazard?”

“It’s on your property, it’s OK.”

Looking at the police officer again, I asked “Are you sure I’m not going to get in trouble for endangering passers-by?”

“Nope. You’re fine, just like he said.”

“One last question: What did you use to douse my grill?”

“Water. Your grill is fine. In fact, if you wait a few minutes, you can still use the charcoal.”

And with that, they all drive off, leaving me with a waterlogged grill and a basket full of charcoal that was still lit. Yes, after all of that effort, they didn’t actually manage to extinguish the “fire.”

We Now Return to the Recipe, Which Is Already in Progress

I dried out the grill, returned the basket to the firebox, added more charcoal, and relocated everything to the city-approved “safe” distance. I had to prop up one side of the grill to make it level, a problem I didn’t have in my original location.

With the grill up to temperature, and a big hunk of cherry log on the coals, I set the bellies in to smoke for three hours, watching from my rear porch window the whole time, lest another busybody “neighbor” interfere with me and my bacon.

Three hours later I had smoked bacon:

I cut the skin off while the slabs were still warm.

Then I split each slab in two.

I vacuum-sealed three of the slabs and sent them to the Deep Storage Facility, along with the skins. I wrapped the fourth in plastic and put it in the fridge to firm up.

What did I do with my slab o’ smoky goodness? You ‘ll have to wait for tomorrow’s post.

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Feeding the Maws of Doom

It’s been three months since I set up my iTerrarium. I must be doing something right, because the Nepenthes alata has developed two fully-formed pitchers (front and rear in the photo), with a third (to the right) on the way.

I was advised by Paul Riddell, the iTerrarium’s creator and curator of the Texas Triffid Ranch, that the plant would need feeding once the second pitcher was fully developed. The absence of any fungus gnats in the chamber indicated that The Maws of Doom (I went with the obscure reference instead of the more geekily obvious Sarlacc or Audrey Jr.) was getting hungry.

Paul told me the ideal food was pinhead (size, not mental capacity) crickets, but the only crickets I could find were either full-sized and freeze dried, or tiny but packed in a can of cooking liquid. I have a lot of weird stuff in my fridge, but I draw the line at slowly rotting cooked baby crickets. It was time to go to plan B.

That’s right, delicious, delicious meal worms. As Paul explained: “It’s not a good idea to feed mealworms to reptiles because the mealworms’ shells are indigestible, but that’s not a problem for a pitcher plant. The shells simply build up in the bottom and get worked over by a variety of bacteria, rotifers, and other life forms.” Mmmm… bacteria and rotifers…

So Sunday was TMOD’s first solid food feeding:

I placed one mealworm in each pitcher, a much tidier and quieter procedure than the last “first solid food” event at Chez Belm, which involved hosing down He Who Will Not Be Ignored and wiping tomato sauce off of every surface of the Research Kitchen.

I can add another successful biology project to the slowly growing list (pitcher plant, bonsai garden, betta tank, yeast culture, ten-year-old child) at Belm Laboratories. Who knows what will be next? Does anyone have a source for giant squid?

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No-Knead Bread, Version 2

My first attempt at no-knead bread was serviceable, but, as I noted at the end of the post, I felt it could be better. By the end of the week in which it sat in the fridge, the last of the dough had become so wet that it was almost unworkable. It oozed water during its final rise, which caused to to stick to the peel. I averted an oven disaster by quickly applying a bench scraper and shaping the dough on the fly into something that resembled a ciabatta loaf.

In response to my complaint about the inaccuracy of the master recipe — which used dip-and-sweep volumetric measurements instead of weights — Andrew Janjigian, a baker, blogger, and test cook for America’s Test Kitchen, sent me this:

As a serious baker, I have a kneejerk bias against “no-knead” recipes in general. They work, but the difference between no-knead and a minimal amount of kneading (or folding) is significant. You seem like the type of person who can find more than 5 minutes a day to dedicate to great bread.

In any case, here is my version of that formula:

900g good AP flour (KA is excellent)
675g H20 (75%)
2g instant yeast (0.25%)
23g salt (2.5%)

Follow the recipe in the book, or try my way: mix flour, water, yeast in a bowl or sealable container (I do 4x this, in a large fish box). Cover lightly, let sit 20m, then incorporate salt. Cover. Every 30m for the next 2h, fold the dough over itself 6-8 times (grab an edge and pull it up and over the center of the dough; repeat, working your way around it in a circle.) After four folds, seal and place in fridge. After 24h (should be gassy by then) you can bake. Dough without natural starter is best used within 3-4 days, after that it tends to get slack and difficult to work with.

So that’s what I tried next. I weighed out the flour, water, salt, and yest, and ran into my first problem: my kitchen scale is only accurate to 5-gram intervals, so I needed to figure out a way to measure 2 grams of yeast. A helpful hint on the back of a yeast packet — 7g = 2.25 teaspoons — let me calculate that I needed 5/8 teaspoon of yeast. I mixed the four, water and yeast together.

I noticed immediately that the dough was stiffer. When I added the salt after 20 minutes, the dough became much wetter. After another 30 minutes, I folded the dough as described in the recipe.

After a day in the fridge, the dough had risen considerably.

Again, I could tell that the dough was stiffer and drier just by looking at the top.

I followed my original recipe from this point on. I cut off a one-pound piece of dough, dusted it with flour, shaped it into a ball, let it rise for forty minutes, then dusted it with more flour before slashing the top with a knife. I was about to learn that it doesn’t always pay to get fancy with the knife cuts.

After thirty-five minutes in a 425°F oven the loaf was done.

What’s that big lump in the middle? It’s the center square formed by my knife pattern, which rose too quickly relative to the rest of the loaf. Lesson learned: Use a simpler slash pattern next time.

After the bread cooled to room temperature, I cut off the center dome, then sliced the rest.

Compared to the loaves from the previous recipe, this version had a better internal structure: it was airier, less, dense, and had a better chew. The flavor wasn’t that different, but the improved texture made it taste better.

Andrew was right. A few more minutes invested at the start of the process — along with accurate measurements — made all the difference. This “low-knead” method will now become the standard method for quick, tasty, basic bread here in the Belm Research Kitchen.

My new scale arrived today, so there won’t be any more early-morning panicked algebra exercises to calculate weight/volume equivalents. No amount of caffeine makes that pleasant.

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Try Reason, Not “Everything”

Last week Time magazine published “The Autism Debate: Who’s Afraid of Jenny McCarthy?” As much as I’d like to rant about her, as I’ve done before, instead I’ll call your attention to this paragraph, buried halfway into the article:

There are dark murmurings from scientists and doctors asking, Was her son ever really autistic? Evan’s symptoms — heavy seizures, followed by marked improvement once the seizures were brought under control — are similar to those of Landau-Kleffner syndrome, a rare childhood neurological disorder that can also result in speech impairment and possible long-term neurological damage. Or, as other pediatricians have suggested, perhaps the miracle I have beheld is the quotidian miracle of childhood development: a delayed 2-year-old catching up by the time he is 7, a commonplace, routine occurrence, nothing more surprising than a short boy growing tall. It is enraging to the mother to hear that nothing was wrong with her boy — she held him during his seizures, saw his eyes roll up after he received his vaccines — and how can you say that she doesn’t know what she knows?

What she “knows” and what actually happened to her son are not the same thing. I know what it’s like to be the parent of a child with an autistic spectrum disorder, and I know how important it is not to let emotions dictate treatment. If I had the ability to visit myself nine years ago, when I was still struggling with the news I had received about my boy, the only advice I would have offered is “You know what you have to do. Read everything you can, talk to experts and other parents, and apply your scientific training to the problem. Advocate for your son, but don’t alienate those who want to help.”

That’s what I’ve done for nine years, and now I have a quirky, happy kid whose development has caught up with his age. I didn’t have to “try everything.” I didn’t have to hope, because I knew things would improve. Science and medicine were – and still are – on my side.

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Punching Your Ticket

In the dark ages of computer programming, mainframes like the IBM System 360 relied on keypunch cards for both program and data input. Programs consisted of huge stacks of cards arranged in a specific sequence, which, if spilled, lent a new meaning to the phrase “system crash.”

My father’s entry into the world of mainframe programming began with an apprenticeship as a “computer operator,” a person whose job it was to load and run programs into the 360, feed huge boxes of multi-part forms into IBM 1403 chain printers, and collate the printed output for distribution. I would visit him at work from time to time because I was fascinated with the hulking mainframes in their climate-controlled rooms, but also to play with the keypunch machines, which I viewed as the biggest, noisiest typewriters imaginable.

Before heading off to MIT, I filled two huge trash bags with the little rectangular chips left behind after the cards were punched. (Imagine my surprise on hearing the term “chad” – the name of the chips – two decades later in reference to a presidential election scandal.) A handful of chips casually tossed into a dorm room guaranteed that the victim would be finding them in his clothing for months. They were my nuclear deterrent from being pranked.

I never gave much thought to how the cards themselves were manufactured until I saw this Boing Boing post a few weeks ago. Someone was selling offset plates used for printing punch cards, so I visited the eBay store to score one for myself. The plate arrived yesterday:

According to the seller:

In Canada, all keypunch cards were printed by a company called Control Data under licence by IBM, who used specially engraved cylinders to print the cards. After the cylinders useful life had passed, they were stored in a small room accessible only by a ladder.

And then they were forgotten for 25 years.

In the mid-1990’s, while talking to the successor company to Control Data, I noticed some intricate cylinders sitting on a traffic manager’s desk and asked him about them. He told me the story of the cylinders and mentioned that they were quite a conversation piece – everyone asked about them.  He remarked that the company had just discovered they still had the plates around and were preparing to dispose of them. I convinced him to sell them to me.  As a result, I have the entire set of master printing plates for the keypunch cards that were such an essential part in first bringing the power of the computer to the mass market.

These plates were made from an aluminum-magnesium alloy and then individually etched in England using a photo-engraving process. Originally they cost over $300.00 each ( in 1965 dollars). The plates were chrome-plated to add strength.

Ink was applied to the positive-image plates, which was transferred as a negative to a rubber roller, which was used to apply the ink to the card stock. Direct transfer from plate to card was avoided because any change to the smoothness of the cards from printing impressions would cause feeder jams, the bane of keypunch operators.

I inked the drum and carefully rolled it across a sheet of paper, then scanned the impression and flipped it in Photoshop to make it readable. A full-sized version of the scan is here.

Now I have a bit of computing history on my desk. Why did I chose this particular plate? Have a look at the photo of the drum; you can read “TAXATION DATA CENTRE  GENERAL ASSESSMENT CARD.” That’s right, it was used for collecting taxation data from Canadian citizens. How’s that for Olympic spirit?

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Preserved Meyer Lemons

While I was cooking lamb tagine last week, I thought this dish could be improved with some preserved lemon, which, unfortunately, I did not have. Now that the peak of winter citrus season is drawing to a close, I figured it was time to remedy the problem before I had to wait another year. I didn’t want to preserve garden variety lemons, I wanted preserved Meyer lemons. (Try as I might, I can’t come up with the requisite Russ Meyer lemons joke. Make up your own.)

The technique is simple: I used a recipe just to get the quantities correct, referring to Well-Preserved by Eugenia Bone. I started with twenty-four Meyer lemons, a cup of kosher salt, and four wide-mouth pint jars.

I sterilized the jars in a pot of boiling water for ten minutes. While the jars boiled, I trimmed the stem end off twelve lemons, then sliced them into quarters from pole to pole. I juiced the other dozen lemons.

I drained the water out of the jars and let them air dry for a minute. I added half a tablespoon of salt to the bottom of each jar, then packed in four lemon wedges, followed by a tablespoon of salt.

I repeated the process twice more, ending up with twelve wedges in each jar, and three and a half tablespoons of salt, which I distributed by shaking the jars. I topped each jar off with a final half tablespoon of salt.

I poured the juice into each jar, making sure the lemons were covered. I pushed down on the wedges a bit to compress them and squeeze out any trapped air. I set the lids (which had been simmering in water to soften the seals) on the jars and screwed on the band until they were finger tight.

The jars will sit on a shelf in the kitchen for two weeks, with me inverting them every other day to keep the salt distributed, until they are fermented. After that, they will keep in my fridge for up to six months. As if they’ll last that long.

From start to finish, including cleanup, this recipe took less than an hour. I encourage you to try it yourself, but do it now if you want preserved Meyer lemons. You can substitute regular lemons, but you’ll need more of them to produce enough juice to fill the jars.

Go. Do it now. You’ll thank me later.

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Monthy Meat-Up

Another month, another meat score. The people at Stillman’s have spoiled me for any other chickens. Now, when I “settle” for a Bell & Evans bird, it still tastes bland compared to the free-range version.

The rest of the delivery was hot Italian sausage, a pork loin roast, and pork cutlets. I supplemented those with a two-pound sirloin steak (last night’s dinner, pan-seared and served with a Worcestershire butter sauce), smoked pork chops, and two pork bellies (soon to become bacon). And they’re still giving away pork kidney fat, which will get rendered for future use.

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Lamb Tagine with Apricots

There are as many formulations of ras el hanout as there are families in Morocco,” advised my local spice vendor, “you just have to settle on a version you like.” The blend I found contained galangal, rosebuds, black pepper, ginger, cardamom, nigella, cayenne, allspice, lavender, cinnamon, cassia, coriander, mace, nutmeg, and cloves – quite the aromatic mix. I had lamb leg steaks in the freezer and a new spice to play with: time to make Moroccan tagine.

The recipe I used is a variation on Lamb Tagine with Prunes, found in Mark Bittman’s The Best Recipes in the World. I started with the three lamb steaks, half a cup of red wine, a tablespoon of honey, a teaspoon of minced ginger, a tablespoon of minced garlic, two tablespoons of olive oil, a large chopped onion, a cup of dried apricots, a cup of chopped carrots, and four teaspoons of ras el hanout.

I cut and trimmed the leg steaks onto inch and a half chunks which I browned in the oil over high heat, adding salt and pepper as I turned the meat. While it browned I soaked the apricots in the wine.

I removed the lamb from the pan, lowered the heat to medium, then added the ginger, garlic, honey, and ras el hanout, cooking for about ten minutes until the onion softened.

I returned the lamb to the pan, along with the wine, half of the apricots, and a cup of water. I brought the mixture to a boil, covered the pan, reduced the heat, and let it simmer for forty five minutes, stirring every fifteen minutes. I added the remaining apricots and let it simmer for a final fifteen minutes.

While the lamb simmered I made couscous, substituting chicken stock for water and adding a quarter cup of diced apricots and a teaspoon of ras el hanout. I finished the tagine with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, then served it over the couscous with a chopped cilantro garnish.

I’ve never been to Morocco, but I have been to its facsimile at the World Showcase in Epcot Center at Walt Disney World. I had failed to make dinner reservations at any of the more popular locations (France, Japan, Mexico) – a rookie mistake – but discovered that Restaurant Marrakesh had plenty of walk-in tables available. It was there that I had my first tagine, prepared and served in the traditional clay pot with conical lid that gives the dish its name.

My tagine brought that first one to mind, and now I know that the elusive spice I couldn’t identify back then was the ras el hanout. It was fragrant and warm, with a heat that crept up after a few bites. The lamb was perfectly tender, the apricots and carrots providing two different types of sweetness. On a cold, rainy, night it was more than a simple lamb stew, it was a warm reminder of a warmer locale. Taste and memory: my favorite dining experience.

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75,000 and Counting

Last January my iTunes library hit the 70,000 song mark. This month I exceeded 75,000.

My latest music listening experiment has been the service provided by lala. I used their MusicMover software to match the contents of my library to songs already present in their own archives. Much to my surprise, they were able to match only half of my songs. It took an entire month to upload the remaining half to their server; now I should be able to listen to (almost) my entire library online from any computer. I say almost because 1,500 songs were not uploaded – they’re either DRMed or in a non-standard format.

From now on, if I’m near a computer, there’s no telling what tunes I’ll pull up. Trout Mask Replica, The Modern Dance, Philosophy of the World, Eskimo? Who knows?

You’ve been warned.

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Presidential Panoramas

Before my regular hiking companions moved away, I spent a lot of time in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. I documented some of the trips with photos, and when I acquired a new Canon digital Elph camera, I tested its panorama feature. I would take a photo, pan to the left or right, and line up the next shot with the edge of the previous shot, which was partially displayed in the viewfinder. Ideally I would have used a tripod, but that would have been one more thing to lug up and down a mountain.

It wasn’t until two years ago while I was reorganizing my photo library that I found four sets of panorama photo shots from the hikes. I stitched the first set together by hand using Photoshop, but it was a laborious process. I loaded it up on a web page for friends to see, promised to create the other three images, and promptly forgot all about it.

Yesterday I read about some auto-stitching software that could assemble panoramas in less than a minute. Remembering the three uncompleted images in my library, I fired up the program, loaded the images, and waited for the results. The results were perfect color-balanced panoramas with no obvious seams.

You can see them here. The only post-processing work I did was to crop them to rectangular dimensions and change the resolution to web display. The first image is my original attempt; you can see the variations in color balance across the photo. (I’m the guy in the dorky hat in the last photo. It gets cold and wet up there.)

I miss those trips, but now that He Who Will Not be Ignored has expressed an interest in seeing those mountains, I think it’s time to get back into shape for the summer hiking season.

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